A Year Without Rain

/It’s like the ground is crumbling under my feet; won’t you save me? There’s gonna be a monsoon when you come back to me, oh baby. I’m missing you so much, can’t help it, I’m in love; a day without you is like a year without rain. I need you by my side, don’t know how I’ll survive; a day without you is like a year without rain. So let this drought come to an end and make this desert flower again. I’m so glad you found me, stick around me, baby baby baby ooh; it’s a world of wonder with you in my life, so hurry baby, don’t waste no more time. I need you here I can’t explain but a day without you is like a year without rain/

Steve opened his eyes, staring at the blank ceiling above him. Sighing, he knew logically that he couldn’t spend the entire day moping in bed. Pulling his legs off the bed, he buried his face inside his hands. Breathing into them, he silently gathered the courage to face the rest of the team. He opened his door a crack, listening for a moment for any signs of Tony; the man wasn’t much of the quiet type. He deemed it safe enough to leave his room without having to face any awkward run-ins. He knew it was childish, but his pride was hurt, along with his heart, and he needed time to lick his wounds before putting on his brave face. He padded softly down the hall, heading for the kitchen/dining room where the sounds of the team breakfasting seemed to be coming from. He came across Natasha and Bruce, murmuring quietly and sitting at the breakfast bar, Bruce with his bowl of cereal and Natasha with a bowl of sliced fruit and protein bars in front of her. Natasha’s eyes softened slightly when they saw him, a worried furrow digging into her eyebrows. Steve’s own pair hardened as he saw Bruce, acting as if nothing had happened. His jaw clenching and unclenching furiously, Steve walked to the pantry to begin making his breakfast, deathglaring Bruce as he did so. Finally, from Natasha’s silence and the general feeling of iciness that suddenly descended on the room, Bruce seemed to notice something was amiss. Looking around, he blinked at Steve, not entirely comprehending what seemed to be the problem. Steve suddenly cut his eyes to Natasha, who was subtly shaking her head at him.

“Steve? What’s wrong?” Bruce’s soft voice asked, concerned tone obvious. Steve clenched his jaw, before shaking his head angrily, exhaling through his nose and focusing on making his breakfast. He heard a thumping sound coming from the stairs and saw it was only Clint, sleepily crawling out of bed for breakfast. Coming to a halt near Bruce, he rubbed one eye as he cracked the other open to see. First turning to Natasha, then to Steve as he nodded, not quite awake, before clambering into Bruce’s lap. Bruce smiled fondly, wrapping an arm around his archer as Clint burrowed his face into Bruce’s chest, his legs sprawling over the seat and his head coming to nuzzle at Bruce’s chin. Sighing softly, he drifted off again, apparently not ready for breakfast. Steve’s eyes about bugged out of their sockets.

“Bruce. What’s this?” Bruce looked up in confusion at him, at the flat, angry tone in Steve’s voice, thrown like a dagger meaning to injure.

“Huh? You mean me and Clint?” He asked, his eyebrows coming together in puzzlement. “I’ve been dating Clint for the past six months, only a few months after the Loki incident.” Steve gaped, astonishment clear in his expression. Bruce shifted awkwardly, Clint making a noise of protest as he did so. “I hope you don’t have anything against that, I just figured well…” Bruce’s cheeks pinked slightly, “What with you and Tony…” Steve shook his head, his thoughts blaring conflicting signals at him and his heart thundering too loudly in his chest.

“I thought you and Tony were…?” Steve couldn’t bring himself to finish. His heart twisted again as he thought of yesterday’s events. Now it was Bruce’s turn to look astonished.

“Me and Tony? No no no, we’re only friends. I like the guy, but I don’t think I could date him.” He chuckled lowly in his chest, Clint giggling as well in his sleep before he shifted closer into Bruce. Steve simply stared at Bruce. If he was telling the truth then…

“Tony didn’t leave me for you?” The words were said so brokenly, that Bruce’s eyes widened in understanding, Natasha’s with sympathy. “Then what did he leave me for?” Bruce sighed, one corner of his mouth quirking down faintly.

“What you think you saw yesterday wasn’t a date. Tony had asked me to have lunch with him so we could discuss some things.” Steve lifted his gaze from the floor, meeting Bruce’s for a second.

“What things?” Bruce sighed, this time with a faint frustrated sound.

“We talked about you.” Steve stared, his body becoming still as Bruce met his eyes evenly.

“He told me that he felt unworthy of you, that you needed to be more exposed to the world instead of just settling with “the safe guy” as he put it. He thinks you only love him because he was the first attractive guy around that you were comfortable with.” Steve could only shake his head more since Bruce had said ‘unworthy’. How come Tony had never told him? He snapped back to the conversation as he heard Natasha mutter angrily in Russian, shaking her head.

“The idiot tried to make you think he was moving on so you would move on. Except he just hurt you along with himself. I told him he needed to talk things through with you, but Tony always has to play the martyr.” Steve felt a bit lightheaded all of a sudden. Joy coursed through him, making him feel physically lighter. He felt wetness on his cheeks; he hadn’t even known he had started crying.

“So Tony does still love me?” Bruce nodded, even as Natasha rolled her eyes, muttering to herself in Russian again. Steve felt a smile catch on his lips, a beatific grin stretching across his face. Bruce smiled slightly and even Natasha couldn’t help but smile back at the elation in Steve’s expression. “I need to find him. Where did he go? I saw him this morning…” Bruce’s and Natasha’s eyes widened comically as they shared a look quickly before schooling their expressions.

“Steve…” Bruce began.

****

“Steve…” Tony whispered, completely thrown by this turn in events. Steve sighed, shoulders rising, then slumping, in a broad shrug.

“Tony.”

“What are you doing here?” Tony fought to get back his composure; not easy to do. A corner of Steve’s lips lifted in a half-hearted smirk. Lifting a hand to scratch his nose with his thumb, he managed to speak.

“Uh, well, Bruce and Natasha kinda told me.” Tony’s eyes narrowed, and Steve immediately jumped to their defense. “If it’s any consolation, I kinda forced them to.”  Tony sucked in a breath, looking at the ground beneath Steve’s feet, rather than his face.

“How much did you hear.” Steve knew it wasn’t a question. He shrugged again, mouth quirking down ruefully.

“Every word.” Tony turned his head, his hands in tense fists at his sides.

“Well then, now you know my big secret.” Steve’s eyebrows jumped together.

“Secret?” he asked, perplexed.

“Yeah, I talk to my dead for almost 12 years father. About you.” He exhaled, lifting his head up to stare at the sky. Anywhere but Steve. “That’s gotta be kinda creepy.” Steve looked slightly hurt.

“Tony, I understand, I mean I get it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” His eyes flicked back to meet Steve’s, seeing only honesty there.

“Really?” Steve’s eyes softened, the blue in them seeming to melt just a little.

“Of course, Tony.” Tony closed his eyes, fiddling with his hands.

“…Well. Never had anybody understand before. Not even Pepper.” Steve’s face turned sympathetic.

“He was still your father.” Tony nodded, too overwhelmed to speak.

“So you also know about the whole me trying to make you move on thing?” Steve snorted, rolling his eyes away and to the side.

“Yes, Bruce and Natasha explained that also.”

“…And you’re okay?” Steve arched an eyebrow.

“Do you mean, am I mad? Then no, but…” He reached out and gripped Tony’s shirt, propelling him forward. He held Tony so that their lips were only centimeters apart. “Don’t ever do that to me again.” He leaned in, as if to kiss before stopping just shy of making contact. “Got it?” Tony choked on a response, Steve’s lips suddenly on his, the sensations of wet warmth and tongue frying his synapses. Pulling away, he took a heady breath.

“Got it, got it.” Tony leaned back in to capture Steve’s mouth when suddenly, the clouds that had been gathering ominously overhead unleashed a glacial cold torrent on the cemetery. Gasping, Tony couldn’t breathe and saw that Steve was suffering the same fate. Breathless, they started laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Grabbing Tony’s hand, Steve made to walk back to the car that he had ‘borrowed’ to get to the cemetery. Steve slowed, Tony pausing as well, and he turned to look back at the elder Stark’s headstone. Gazing silently, he nodded, as if assuring the spirit of the owner that he would care for his son. Turning a smile back onto Tony, he led him to the car and opened the passenger door for him. Rolling his eyes a bit, Tony slid into the seat and waited for Steve to get into the driver’s side. Once inside, Steve grinned brightly, causing Tony’s heart to skip a beat.

“I get to keep you?” Tony asked, feeling ridiculous once he said it. Steve only smiled brighter as he leaned over for a kiss.

“Always, Tony.” Starting the car, he switched on the windshield wipers as they drove out of the cemetery, leaving the past in the past. Reaching over, Steve secured Tony’s hand, threading his fingers through Tony’s. Giving the hand a slight squeeze, he felt his heart swell delightedly as he felt a gentle squeeze back.